


Dear Branjie

by TheArtificialDane



Series: The Brightest Timeline [46]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:20:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21648190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheArtificialDane/pseuds/TheArtificialDane
Summary: “Ho ho ho ho!” Vanjie attempts to laugh like Santa Claus, and it’s not going well.She’s sitting in a green armchair in a green screen studio, a fake fire behind her. “There any good little hoes watching?”
Relationships: Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo
Series: The Brightest Timeline [46]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1400260
Comments: 10
Kudos: 63





	Dear Branjie

_ “Ho ho ho ho!” Vanjie attempts to laugh like Santa Claus, and it’s not going well.  _

_ She’s sitting in a green armchair in a green screen studio, a fake fire behind her. “There any good little hoes watching?” _

_ Vanjie is wearing a caramel wig that’s cut in a bob, a santa hat on her head, and a denim dress with long sleeves.  _

_ “I sure as fuck hope so, cause we got The One, The Only!”  _

_ Vanjie snaps her fingers, and a glitterstorm of gold fills the screen. _

_ “Brooke Lynn Hytes! With us tonight!” _

_ Vanjie holds out her hand, to Brooke who’s sitting next to her in an identical chair, a big smile on her face, the other queen clearly very amused by Vanjie. _

_ Brooke is in a blonde bob wig, with a clear bitch cut, a santa hat on her head, red lips, and a red dress that has the shoulders cut out to show off Brooke’s arms. _

_ “Hey baby.” Brooke smiles. “Thank you for having me.” _

_ “Y’all better be thankful.” Vanjie looks at the camera. “Cause it took three weeks of some real negotination to get this christmas miracle to happen!” _

_ The screen fills with gold writing as “Dear Vanjie” written in cursive on a red backdrop fills the screen. Suddenly, the screen disrupts, and “Dear Vanjie” is stamped over, the text now saying Dear Branjie. _

_ The camera cuts back to the studio, where Brooke is chuckling, Vanjie holding a stack of questions in her hand, clearly reading them. _

_ “The role of host suits you big guy.” Brooke flirts, her voice honey sweet. _

_ Vanjie smiles, “I told you this was some serious business.” she taps her cards, and turn to the camera again. _

_ “We’ve asked you to send in those questions, so listen up as Dear Branjie gets to answering whatever shits you gots going on!” _

_ /// _

_ “Do you wanna read?” Vanjie holds the card to Brooke. _

_ “I think you should do it.” Brooke gently pushes the cards back. “It’s your show.” _

_ Vanjie smiles, obviously very pleased. “Dear Branjie.” Vanjie clears her throat with a cough.  _

_ “How do you tell someone- Uh, this is off to a good and juicy start.” Vanjie smirks, and wiggles her brows. “That you wanna have sex with them without being rude?” _

_ “... What?” Brooke looks perplexed, her blue eyes wide, her red mouth hanging slightly open. _

_ “They wanna know how to-” _

_ “I got that part but- I’m just not sure I understand the question.” Brooke takes the card from Vanjie, and holds it up, her red nails standing out against the black of the card. “Without being rude?” Brooke looks into the camera. “How do you usually ask people if they wanna bang?” _

_ “Yo, you wanna fuck or what?” _

_ Brooke and Vanjie look at each other, both of them bursting into laughter at the same time, the camera cutting.  _

_ /// _

_ “Oh god.” Brooke wipes her eyes, gently touching her lash. “Shit you almost made me cry Papi-” _

_ Vanjie laughs. “If we wanna get back to the question?” _

_ “Sure. Sure.” Brooke settles back into her chair. “Without being rude...” Brooke thinks, her voice trailing off. _

_ “Maybe they shy about being rejected?” Vanjie shrugs. _

_ “But that’s not rude?” Brooke bits her lip, clearly thinking. “I don’t think it can ever be rude if the chemistry is there. Which I really hope it is.” _

_ Vanjie looks at Brooke, clearly listening. _

_ “You can be creepy, it can be awkward, but I think it’s really hard to be rude if you’re telling someone you find them attractive enough to sleep with, just, you know, be normal.” _

_ Vanjie snorts. “And how you normal hot stuff?” _

_ “Like-” Brooke groans, clearly considering what to do for a minute. “Here, let me.” Brooke moves her chair, and touches Vanjie’s arm. “Excuse me-” _

_ “If you sorry for that,” Vanjie looks down at Brooke’s hand. “You gonna be saying hail marys till you dead over the other stuff we done did.” _

_ “I couldn’t help but notice you out on the dancefloor.” _

_ “Ooooh…” Vanjie stops, and looks at Brooke. _

_ “Or wherever else you meet the person-” Brooke quickly looks at the camera, a smile on her face, before she refocuses on Vanjie. “You’re really hot.” _

_ Vanjie smiles, and puts a bit of her hair behind her ear, Brooke obviously charming her even as she tries to hide it. _

_ “You wanna grab a beer and see where the night takes us?” Brooke wiggles her brow. “If you know what I mean.” _

_ “No!” Vanjie laughs, and smacks her with the cards. “Bitch you can’t do that!” _

_ “I can.” Brooke smiles. “And you wanna know why?” _

_ “No.” _

_ Brooke ignores Vanjie fully. “Because we have chemistry.” Brooke moves her hand to Vanjie’s leg. “Don’t you feel seduced?” _

_ “Ho you got my cheat codes all logged in, that shit ain’t fair.” Vanjie crosses her arms, though she very clearly allows Brooke’s hand to linger on her leg. _

_ “Make eye contact, get to know them, ask directly and if they say no.” Brooke shrugs. “Take it like a man.” _

_ “Or a queen!” _

_ /// _

_ “Dear Branjie.” _

_ Vanjie holds a new card up, her and Brooke’s chairs mysteriously a whole lot closer than they were at the beginning. _

_ “I'm a drag queen- Awh that’s cute.” Vanjie smiles, while Brooke snorts. “And my boyfriend is too, so we can kind of relate.” Vanjie reads from the card. _

_ “Does it say anything about how long they’ve done drag?” Brooke puts a hand on Vanjie’s shoulder, leaning in. _

_ “Am I finished reading?” Vanjie lifts a brow, and Brooke holds her hands up. _

_ “Sorry.” Brooke smiles. _

_ Vanjie continues reading. “How do I tell him to stop drawing his eyebrows in a straight line for drag?” Vanjie stops, her mouth hanging open. “Oh shit oh shit oh shit.” _

_ “A straight brow can be…” Brooke stops for a second. “Cute.” She’s very clearly lying.  _

_ “I'm sure you understand why this is kind of a sensitive topic- Bitch you betcha. You don’t ever wanna get in your baes shit.” _

_ “Is this really the type of questions you get all the time?” Brooke leans in, like she wants to read Vanjie’s card. _

_ “You don’t watch my show?” Vanjie looks at Brooke, her eyes wide. _

_ “I mostly watc-” _

_ Vanjie cuts in. “You better not finish that sentence.” Vanjie points the cards at Brooke, but Brooke simply lifts her hand and pushes them away. _

_ “I mostly watch when I’m on the road, so I’m not always up to date.” Brooke rolls her eyes. “Because you keep track of everything I do-” _

_ “Like that podcast from last week or that interview you did or the commercial?” _

_ “You did your homework.” Brooke laughs, clearly surprised. “Are you sure you don’t run my stan accounts?” _

_ “Maybe.” Vanjie smiles. “Back to the question!” Vanjie mumbles her way through, reading all of it again. “- How can I point out he doesn't look like Rihanna, without him getting mad as fuck.” _

_ “Does it really say that?” _

_ “I’m parathesizing.” _

_ “Paraphrasing?” _

_ “That.” Vanjie smiles. “So, what you gonna do if your boyfriends makeup ain’t the T?” _

_ “Shit?" _

_ “Shit?” _

_ “As in-” Brooke taps her finger on each word. “Not gonna do shit.” Brooke shrugs. “Drag is an expression of art-” _

_ “The art of hooking.” Vanjie smirks. _

_ “Trying to change a sisters look, or even worse a friend or a partners style can really only end in a serious fight. _

_ “I painted like a racoon for a while.” Vanjie tossed her hair. _

_ “You really did.” Brooke snorts. “And I looked like a hooker that had been beat with a powder puff when I first started drag.” _

_ “You looked cute as fuck-” _

_ “You’re only saying that because love makes blind.” Brooke smiles. She leans in, giving Vanjie a quick peck to swallow her protest. “You have your drag mom to beat you up, and if not, the community surely will. My advice is to simply not do anythi-” _

_ “Fuck no.” Vanjie cuts in. _

_ “Fuck no?” Brooke looks at Vanjie. _

_ “You can’t let your good judy love into the land of gays with bad brows. That’s like.. The rules of feminism.” _

_ Brooke smiles, clearly listening to what Vanjie’s saying.  _

_ “If you don’t want it to blow up-” Vanjie looks into the camera, her eyes glinting “- and we both know the only kind of blow you want is one of those goods-” _

_ “Papi-” _

_ “Right.” Vanjie smiles, stopping herself. “You gotta pretend you wanna practice, and draw those brows on them. Show them a good time. Let them know what a woman they can be-” _

_ “That might actually work.” Brooke looks almost surprised at Vanjie’s suggestion. _

_ “And if not, bribe one of your ride or dies to read them for filth.” _

_ /// _

_ “You sure you don’t wanna read the last one?” Vanjie holds the cards up. “It’s real fun.” _

_ “Okay.” Brooke chuckles, and takes the card. “Do I just read or?” _

_ “Go nuts baby.” _

_ Brooke holds the cards up.  _ _ “Dear Branjie. I'm 21 and I'm a lesbian -” Brooke looks into the camera, a flirty smile on her face. “Hey sweetie.” _

_ “Stop flirting with the lesbians.” Vanjie pushes Brooke’s shoulder, their chairs so close their legs are touching. “They already love you.” _

_ “I really like going out with my friends, partying and going to clubs, but I’m so- Wait,” Brooke stops reading, and leans back in her chair. “Do you have to yell on Dear Vanjie when people type in caps lock?” _

_ “You got that right sweet pea.” Vanjie smirks, clearly excited to see what Brooke is gonna do. _

_ Brooke laughs, and pushes Vanjie’s leg away so she can sit up straight. She cups her mouth, and yells. _

_ “I'M SO FUCKING SOCIALLY ANXIOUS.” _

_ Both Brooke and Vanjie starts laughing, the two of them so clearly enjoying each others company. _

_ “Was that good?” _

_ “Perf.” Vanjie smiles, her smile so bright it’s basically a sun. _

_ “I always think I'm beings stupid if I start dancing- Ouch.” Brooke pulls back, the words clearly hurting her. “Oh no.” _

_ “That’s real fucking sad.” Vanjie looks at the card. “Dancing is why you go out in the first place.” _

_ “Dance and karaoke.” Brooke smiles. _

_ “You know it.” _

_ Brooke continues read. “I never know if a girl is flirting with me or not- That’s a real problem with you lesbians.” Brooke looks at the camera, her eyes growing wide. “Is there something I can do or am I just really fucking weird? I love you two clowns.” _

_ “Clowns?” Vanjie peaks up. “Who’s clowning?” _

_ “I’ve never really understood- Actually-” Brooke points his phone at the screen. “If someone could send an email to WOW, not us-” _

_ “Don’t ever send me an email unless you hate me.” Vanjie flips her hair over her shoulder. “And I’m serious ‘bout that.” _

_ “Send an email, and explain this whole clown business. I’m sure their intern would love to read it-” _

_ “Thank you Kenneth.” Vanjie smiles sweetly, and Brooke chuckles. _

_ /// _

_ “So, social anxiety-” Brooke pulls her skirt down slightly, and settles into her chair. _

_ “You got that coming out the butt.” Vanjie sounds sympathetic, even though her words do not. _

_ “Social anxiety is hard,” Brooke puts a hand on Vanjie’s leg. “And it’s something you’re going to have to work on your entire life.”  _

_ Vanjie puts her hand on top of Brooke’s. _

_ “It’s not going to be easy, but there’s going to be ways you can work on your anxiety. I’m not exactly a spokesperson for it, since I hate it-” _

_ Vanjie nods. _

_ “But maybe see a therapist, get some help, ask your friends to help you out.” _

_ “And if you a friend who’s out there, and you know you got an anxious boo. Check in with your ho, make sure she good.” Vanjie runs her thumb over Brooke’s hand. “I know I got ADHD all day every day, but that don’t mean I can’t keep an eye on whenever or not Brock is losing his shit-” _

_ “Hey-” Brooke smiles, clearly not all that offended. _

_ “And if he gets that same look in his face as he got in the magic challenge, I know it’s time to grab his ass and get the fuck out.” _

_ Brooke kisses Vanjie’s hair, the touch barely a peck not to ruin the wig. _

_ “You’re going to grow your entire life, and you’re going to learn ways to cope, and I really hope you’re going to find one that will allow you to dance in just the way you want to.”  _

_ Brooke smiles, and the video ends. _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone who has sent in questions <3


End file.
